Breaking down Walls

Therapy and coaching is all about breaking down individual’s walls and beliefs?!

Unfortunately, it is not like in the movies, where I can call my therapist any time I want, when I am struggling. In reality, coaching and therapy that I have had over the last few years now, have equipped me with becoming better at breaking down that wall by myself.

It is usually in those dark and tough times that my brain comes up with something inspirational that seems to magically helps me keep going. It’s like a piece of that wall that took years to build and maintain just cracked and a huge block of it just blew off.

Over the past few years, I have worked with therapists and coaches, who have helped me understand that it is not me; that it… that I am good.

I am good enough. Yet I have found it so hard to just do the bare minimum just to make sure, exhausting myself in the process.

This dedication that I am bringing, does not always feels seen, valued or heard.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not validation that I am looking for. It is me being able to be satisfied with my own accomplishments, that I am finding so very hard.

As I was struggling with my recovery from a tremendously stressful working week, I was trying to release the extremely painful tension headaches on a Saturday, by soaking myself in a hotter than hot bath.

It was when the baths didn’t do much for me anymore and I was lying there in frustration that it came to me.

“There is a big difference between knowing what to do and finding the courage to actually doing it, even if you know, that without finding the courage for it, whatever it may be, it is hurting you from the inside.”

Life changing decisions have been made already and with several roadwork still in my way, more of such courage’s decisions need to be made, which I am, honestly speaking afraid of, but I guess if it was easy, it would not cary the same meaning.

I, I mean we all have such great talent, and I don’t want it to get wasted any longer because of comfort and security that is all an illusion anyway.

One of the toughest things for me to overcome, is to be kind to myself and stop trying to exceed my 200% expectation 24/7 of myself.

Recently, I came up with another line that once again, spoke to me.

It didn’t solve my problems, but it energised me.

“Accepting my emotions and setting boundaries for the foundation for the future of my happiness and success. ”

While it does help me and I enjoy it very much, I haven’t written in a while, so hopefully this makes some sense. Going forward, I hope to be able to write some more.

 Thank you

 T.